Why in the world did that bother me so much?

Have you ever read something that seemed reasonable enough, but left a bad taste in your mouth? Sometimes it takes me some thought to figure out what exactly, in the perfectly reasonable, factual passage settled wrong, but I figured it out pretty quickly this time. The super nice JW lady stopped by today and brought two books for my kids. One was the Bible story book. It cracked me up because all the illustrations were exactly the same as the JW Bible Story book I had when I was a kid. It was a trip to look through them. They said the same thing, focused on the same stories (some more gory and deeper than traditional Christian Children's Bible Stories) and were a genuine addition to our religious library.

It was the second book that took me a while to stop reading. It is called "Learn From The Great Teacher" and it is supposed to be an answer book for when kids ask the 'hard' questions about today's life in accordance to the scriptures. Sounds perfectly reasonable and I thought it would be helpful. Then I started reading. Some is very practical, faith-based, common sense type advice that I already follow and planned to when my kids asked. Other things made me cringe.

It is geared for kids, as in a parent could read straight from it and I think some phrases, unintentional or not, bugged me.

*Questioning other faiths. The book mentions that lots of people go to church every Sunday, but might never know Jesus. I know that's true. As one who until recently was going through the motions but still loved Christ, I know that statement to be true. But the picture had a white man going into a church with a cross in the front of it. Bull. Don't assume another's faith or belief. It's an intensely personal thing and I'd never encourage my kids to doubt another's sincerity in Christ. I've shared my smacking Faith moment, but I know not everyone can or will. That doesn't mean I'd call another person on 'going through the motions' nor would I encourage my kids to believe that others are anything but sincere in their pursuit of understanding and loving Christ.

*Denying the validity of the righteous fight. I would never encourage a kid to fight, but is there such a thing as standing up for ones self or those weaker in a non violent way? The right thing is to get someone with authority to help. But when that translates into adulthood, who do people go to for safety? Police, military, etc. It's mighty hypocritical for JW's to condemn those who fight when they admittedly need them in this world of violence and ugliness. Yes, be just, turn the other cheek, walk with God in peace. But don't condemn those who fight for just causes. Jesus had the opportunity to strike down armies or to denounce them. But he didn't. Necessary evil? Perhaps some could see it as that. I don't know a soldier who wants to fight. I know the ones who fight to try to maintain peace and health and though I'd never presume to know God's plan or mind, I would have a hard time believing they couldn't find God's grace.

*On the page with icons and about worshiping falsely, there was a picture of the cross. That hit my gut hard. I'm a Christian. I worship God and Christ-NOT THE CROSS. It's a symbol, a reminder, a piece of history that isn't and was never constructed to be something to bowed down in front of. That piece of the book's text implied that those who put the cross on their church were doing something wrong and that something wrong is one of the biggest affronts to God. Now, can we call BS? I do and won't teach my kids that.

*One of the chapters is on bragging. It should be a good one, and is. Humility is something we all need to embrace. Being 'better' than others is a very human failing we need to pull away from. But don't worry, the ones who follow the book to the letter are 'better'. Ouch right?

I'd been willing to believe that there was less hypocrisy in this sort of study, but I was wrong. Am I surprised, no? Disappointed? Yes because I think we're all searching for the religion that 'got it right'. In this I think Luther was right when during the Reformation he made the statement that salvation was between the person and God. Salvation and faith are both personal things, intensely personal ones that can be helped and nurtured by good souls who also strive for their personal connection with Christ, for the blinding moment of 'Oh, this is why I'm here. How could I have missed this love?'

So, no religion is perfect, I know that. I hope the lady who gave me the books understands my position, because I'm giving those books back. The Bible stories, I'll happily read to my kids. The propaganda that implies intolerance and separation instead of tolerant, patient teaching won't make it into the book shelf.

I want my kids to grow with the fortitude and confidence in Christ and God's love so they aren't afraid to swim with the sinners (because my kids, as much as I love them are sinners just like their mother and father). I want for them the strength and humility (what a mix!) to go among the unclean and forgotten and sinned and show them there is a different way and that way was given to us by God's son. There is forgiveness to be had, if we're willing to believe, forgive and love.

Money

Apparently summer is the slow time at our church and because of that fact, my mailbox has been full of reminders to keep up giving. This morning I was ready to take a break from church if they pressed for money again. I don't have any! My husband was laid off, things are so tight they squeak and because I know that but still want to give, I've volunteered for everything at church that I possibly can. So when they ask for money over and over, I feel bad and I don't go to church to feel bad.

It's fine if the sermon makes me look at myself and find things lacking, but with some things...I just can't change the money issue right now. I'd like things to be different, but stewardship demands that I give time instead of cash at the moment. So, this morning, the pastors had eased back and it was a huge relief for me. I rely on the pastors to be a conduit into the Bible and they help me be closer to Jesus, so I value their words and take them personally. So I needed them to back off with money.

I have to rely on God right now to get through the hard times my family is facing so getting pulled more isn't what I want. If it's what God thinks I need, well I can't change that but for the moment I'm glad for the reprieve.

Thank You God, For giving us Food! (Superman melody)

This past week I volunteered for vacation Bible school at our church. It was a lot of fun and reaffirmed some of the very basics for me.

God's Word is True: The Bible is true. You either look at it as a story book of fables or you look at it as history. There are contradictions, a book that spans that amount of time is bound to have them as things change, but the core values are there and if you nickle and dime every detail, you won't get anything from the Bible. If you look for concepts and 'big picture' you see a book telling us to love each other, do our best to do what is right, and to love and trust God.

God's Word is Comforting: There are times when things are scary in the Bible. There's no way to sugar coat that some angry, jealous people nailed our savior to the cross and killed him. But the everlasting comfort and joy is also in the Bible if you look. Forgiveness, is there anything more comforting than knowing we are forgiven for our sins and slights?

God's Word is Surprising: It is. When we get complacent and expectant in life, it is God who shakes things up. Humans are creatures of habit, but God challenges us and loves us so much that even when there are trying times, there is joy in those times.

God's Word offers Forgiveness: Our snack for this day was very symbolic. The chocolate cookie on the bottom was our sin, dark and hard (tempting) There were bright red cherries for Jesus' blood shed for us and the third was whipped cream, white and fluffy and able to cover the other things like a cloud. Did the kids understand it? Kind of and that was enough at the time. Forgiveness can be simplified, but it's a complex idea and in our Savior's case, that forgiveness is layered and absolute and it's a-okay to compare it to cookies and cream as long as those cherries are still Christ's 'blood'.

So, over 100 kids got a dose of Christ, crafts, snacks, stories, and music. In my journey in Christianity I'm learning that it is important to give the kids the stories and present Christ how they can understand. They'll grow into adults one day and they'll question religion, but if they remember those times when people they loved and respected told them about Christ and God, then those opinions will matter more than any article or roommate's.

Forgiveness

So, I've learned a major part of Christianity is forgiveness. In Christ's death we as humans received God's ultimate sacrifice to show forgiveness, so who are we to deny it to other people? Oh so easier said than done, but it's one of the principles I'm working on personally.

In my life my dad and I had a big spat years ago. It involved my husband, but mostly had to do with my dad's drinking problem. The rift has been big and heavy and heartbreaking for me on more than one occasion. So yesterday, for the first time in 4 1/2 years I went to my parents' home. It wasn't some monumental thing and my dad ended up not being there, but it was nice to pretend it was normal. I'm hoping if I keep on striving for forgiveness and keep fighting through for 'normal' that things will be easier again.

I also hope he finds forgiveness and finds himself longing for it as well. Nothing goes quite as far in mending a relationship like a heart felt "I'm sorry" Unfortunately, our sinning pride sometimes makes us stumble over those words.

My First JW Bible Study

Hmm, what can I say, the ladies were absolutely sweet and sincere. They knew their Bibles, made sense, didn't shy away from questions and actually answered a few of my bigger questions from the JW slant. What have I learned so far:

>their small text was supposed to read like a 5th grader could understand it.
>the 'paradise earth' thought wasn't outwardly mentioned but the foundation was squarely set
>allow vs cause was addressed and I'm still thinking about it
Since the world is Satan's playground, given freely by God so that we may learn this great lesson of needing and loving God so we may one day live in Heaven (or paradise Earth, wherever)...there's something there in cause and effect that I need to think on. I don't believe that God comes to push us down or that God causes evil, but maybe it's just the words 'cause and allow' that I'm struggling with.
>The name "Jehovah" is a big major deal to Witnesses (it is in their name) I don't know that I will ever consider it a big hairy deal. What is in a name? It's an honor that it was given, absolutely but when Lutherans sing to "God on High" or "Lord the Almighty" are they slighting God? Oh and don't get me started on the trinity in this sense. I believe God, Jesus and the Spirit are not three in one. God created both to do specific jobs and they are "like God" in the sense they were made of the same stuff as God just as I am my mother's daughter and share her chromosomes, but am so not my mother, but they aren't the Almighty.


So, not bad for about an hour. I'm seeing them again next week. I don't feel pressured to join their church or to cut ties with the other things I'm learning. So I think that will make me want to learn more. These ladies know their stuff and I think that's something I've desired in my church, just the chance to sit down and look at scriptures and discuss what it means, why it's practical and all that good stuff. It's why a few friends and I have a small Bible study so we can learn more. Another idea or opinion is good for me :)

Mathew 7:7-8 "Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

Learning

Last night I spent over an hour reading religious stuff...I was worried the storms would fry my computer so I was even doing it the old fashioned way. I was going back and forth between a Jehovah's Witness handbook and Fortress Introduction to Lutheranism. I noticed some huge differences right off the bat.

The JW handbook was written maybe at a fifth grade reading level and simplified some of the most complex and arguable thoughts in the Bible. So simplified that though I agreed in principal, I could play 'devil's advocate' to nearly every example and demonstration. That made me feel small, but they were the first thoughts that came to mind. I felt like I was being spoon fed something that I should have been given a 'big girl fork' for.

In contrast the Fortress Introduction to Lutheranism was college level reading and while it was a bit heavy, it was still plenty clear to me. I want religion available to all people and that does mean simplifying at times, but picking and choosing too much leads to not getting a clear picture.

I enjoyed when the two different books referred to the same Bible scripture. In all cases the explanation was nearly the same. I'm sure on some things the differences are greater but in the limited areas I read last night, there was major agreement, though I'm sure some people look at those differences and cling to their importance.

Today I have a Bible study with a nice JW lady who has stopped by my house a few times. I'm always a good hit because I enjoy the adult conversation within my day of kid chasing and also because I am curious. My childhood with JW has left me skeptical of their faith and honestly I see it as very unwelcoming and elitist religion. I hope the Bible study maybe helps me see the religion through adult eyes.

First thoughts

So I tried for 'christian in training' as a site, but it's already taken. So I'm Stephanie B and I am in fact, a Christian in training. I was baptised Catholic, raised Jehovah's Witness and now as an adult choose to attend a ELCA Lutheran church.

I have questions! Lots of them and I'm finding as I stumble through for answers that I end up having a lot of thoughts and even more questions. Hence the blogging. I hope it helps me keep up with my thoughts and maybe find some more resources and ideas. Thanks for helpful comments and suggestions.